Monkey's Paw Syndrome
by GirlX2
Summary: House and Wilson should learn to be careful about what they wish for...HW Established relationship. Also, the closest thing to a chibi fic you'll ever see in the House section of this site.
1. Chapter 1

Monkey's Paw Syndrome, Chapter One

By GirlX2

Disclaimer: I don't own House, Wilson, or anybody else in this story. Just borrowing.

Author's Notes: Somewhat inspired by the X-Files Episode _Je Souhaite_. Due to the insanity of the situation, it's part of my ongoing AU House universe, The Diagnostic Files 'verse (My other House MD fic, 'Getting More Like Fiction Each Day', also falls under this 'verse). **No pre-reading necessary.**

-

"House, I'm not playing at your stupid poker night. Not after what you did last time."

"C'mon, my drycleaner canceled. I need a fourth."

"No."

"If you _really _loved me you'd do it."

"If I _really _loved you I wouldn't be an enabler."

"That hurt."

Wilson paused as the two doctors made their way into House's office. House had the same bored look that he'd had since they'd arrived at work this morning, with a touch of pout after Wilson refused to participate in the game.

"I won't beg you." House said.

"I don't want you to beg. I want you to leave me alone!" Wilson finally lost his temper. House had been pestering him about this all morning.

"Jeeze Wilson,-"

"Don't you 'Jeeze Wilson' me!" Wilson growled. "I'm not the one being unreasonable. I just wish you could drop the subject after I've said no. For once."

"I wish you'd just shut up." House punctuated this by tapping Wilson in the chest with his cane.

Wilson rolled his eyes. '_I'd be willing to shut up if you'd quit bugging me_!'

"What?" The annoyed expression dropped off House's face, to be replaced with confusion.

'_I said_-'

Only he didn't. No sound came out of the Oncologist's mouth. Wilson blinked in confusion and tried to clear his throat. '_I said…What the hell?_'

There was still no sound.

House rolled his eyes. "That's lame Wilson, even for you. If you're that desperate not to talk to me I'll go hide out in Coma-Guy's room."

Wilson swallowed hard, his mouth suddenly very dry. '_I_…'

House caught the panicked expression in Wilson's eyes. "You're not doing this on purpose."

Wilson shook his head frantically and began to massage his throat. The idea that his vocal cords had somehow become paralyzed in the last three seconds was ludicrous, but it was the only explanation he could think of.

"Stop that, you could make it worse." House grabbed his hands. "Hold still."

Wilson tried to stay calm as House gently probed his throat. He would figure it out. He always figured things like this out.

House stepped back after a moment. He frowned pensively at Wilson. Slowly, he raised his cane and pointed the rubber tip square at the younger man's chest.

"I wish," Prod prod "That Wilson could speak."

"How is that going to help?!" Wilson's hand flew to his mouth as the words tumbled out. He could talk again.

House grinned wickedly. "That's interesting."

-

"It's impossible!"

"We don't know where this cane was before it got to the antique shop. Who's to say it didn't belong to a wizard?"

"Um, anyone with common sense?"

"Meh." House waved his hand dismissively. "Besides, I can test my theory right now. I wish," He tapped the flame-painted cane twice against his desktop. "That all my paperwork was finished."

Both men watched in amazement as the papers on the table disintegrated.

"My God…" Wilson gaped as the dust settled.

"Well, I guess that's one way it could be finished." House murmured. "I'd better be careful about how I word my requests."

"Your cane _can't _be magic." Wilson stammered. "There's no such thing!"

"The results beg to differ." House jabbed a finger at the tabletop.

"Then why hasn't anything happened before? You've hit numerous people and things with your cane."

"Hit, not tapped. And not proceeded with the words 'I wish'. That seems to be the key."

"This is insane."

"Do you need another demonstration?" House grinned again and lifted his cane slightly.

"Keep that thing away from me." Wilson took a few steps back.

"I thought there was no such thing as magic." House smirked.

"Magic or not, that is still a long hard piece of wood you can injure me with."

"That's what your Mom said. Snap."

"Mature." Wilson pinched the bridge of his nose, frustrated. "Okay, lets say by some insane chance you're right, and your cane does have certain…abilities."

"Powers." House corrected him.

"It's dangerous. You have no idea what it could be capable of."

"Well, lets see if the 'three per customer' thing is in effect. I wish-"

"Don't!"

"That my thigh would heal. Quickly."

Nothing happened.

"Crap."

"Maybe the three…wishes…you already said were it." Wilson said tentatively after a moment.

"My cane is not a genie." House glared at the object. "It's a piece of--" The scream was one of pure pain. House clamped both hands onto his thigh, dropping the cane. "SHIT!"

Wilson was back at his side in an instant. "Oh God, I knew this wasn't going to work."

"No." House said shakily after a moment. "It…it's getting better."

After a few more shaky breaths House let go of his leg.

"Is it…?" Wilson lowered his voice to a whisper.

"The pain is gone."

House slowly stood up, testing his leg. It held his weight without the slightest tinge. He walked forward a few steps.

"Be careful. You were hurting even worse than normal a second ago." Wilson cautioned.

"It felt like when the infarction happened."

"What?"

"That's the only way I can describe it." House took a few more steps.

"That doesn't sound like healing." Wilson frowned pensivly.

"I don't care what it was." House snapped. "The pain is gone."

Wilson gasped as House leapt towards the door and took off down the hall, running. He started after his lover a moment later, pausing only to grab the cane.

"House!" He followed him up the stairwell, unable to match the long-legged strides.

House just continued to run up the steps, unaware of anything but the fact that he _could _run. He felt energetic, untouchable. Certainly better than he'd felt just moments before. He raced up the nearest flight of stairs, toward the roof. He felt _good_.

Wilson couldn't believe the speed House was managing. He wasn't running our of breath or slowing in the slightest.

'This isn't right.' He swallowed a desperate gulp of air. 'That stupid cane did something besides fix his leg!'

House felt like he could run forever. He wasn't tired, not even close. He might have gone right to the roof if he hadn't tripped. The Diagnostician went sprawling, landing badly and banging his knee.

"OW! Shit, shit…" House grabbed at his left knee, which was oozing blood. The shock of the new pain startled him into tears. He drew a hand across his eyes, trying to eradicate the liquid.

"H…House. Oh, God." Wilson panted, finally catching sight of him.

'"I'm okay." His voice hitched strangely. "I tripped. Just a scrape."

"Are you crying?" Wilson slowly climbed the last steps.

"No!" The hitch hadn't gotten better as the pain faded. Weird.

"You are." Wilson insisted. He dropped to one knee and tilted House's face up. In an instant his expression changed from worry into horror. "Oh shit!"

"What?"

"Your face…" Wilson gulped.

"_What_?" House growled. Or tried to, anyway. He still didn't sound right.

"You're…younger." Wilson managed.

"What are you talking about?"

"Your stubble is gone." Wilson traced a finger down the now smooth skin of House's cheek. "And you're smaller."

House leapt to his feet, nearly knocking Wilson over in the process. There was a window in the stairwell that looked out onto the courtyard--not the best mirror, but it would do.

The face staring back at him was indeed stubble-free. His hair was curlier than normal, and a few shades lighter as well. For a moment he thought his eyes had grown; in actuality the rest of his skull had shrunk. He looked to be about sixteen years old.

"Oh." His voice wasn't gravelly anymore.

"It's the cane, it healed you by reversing the aging process!" Wilson gaped.

"Um…actually no." House's voice cracked on the last word. "It's _healing _me by reversing the aging process. I'm still losing years."

He turned back to Wilson, surly no older than fourteen, and still shrinking.

"No." Wilson felt the blood draining out of his face.

"We've gotta do something. Quick!" House eyed the cane in Wilson's hand. "Wish me back to adulthood!"

"House, I can't-"

"I don't know if it'll work for me while I'm shrinking! Do it!" House watched in horror as everything around him seemed to grow bigger.

"Um, I uh…" Wilson stammered. "I um…I wish House would stop getting younger!"

"Tap the cane!" House's intended bellow came out as a shriek.

"I wish this would stop!" Wilson yelled, banging the cane on the ground.

House watched as his surroundings stopped growing. He tried to estimate his own height. No more than three feet, several inches at the most. That put him at what…three? A young four?

"I guess that works." He mumbled. He sounded _very _young.

"Why did you do that?!" Wilson turned away from him and paced, unable to take in the sight. "That was the stupidest thing I've ever seen you do House. You could have vanished down to nothing if I hadn't caught up with you in time! What were you thinking?"

There was a non-committal sound that might have been a whimper.

Wilson dragged a hand across his face. "You're going to give me a heat attack before I hit forty! You…"  
He trailed off as he turned back to face House.

House pressed himself against the wall while Wilson ranted. He knew that tone of voice--it meant pain. The logical knowledge that Wilson was just scared and would never hurt him was overruled by the instinctive nature of the thoughts. Large, angry grownups meant pain. His father had taught that lesson well.

He tried to curl in on himself. Smaller targets were harder to hit.

Wilson slowly lowered himself to the floor. House was curled up in his own shirt, trembling, arms over his head. He was sobbing softly.

'He's protecting himself from blows.' Wilson realized, horrified. House had thought…

"Shh, it's okay. I'm not going to…It's okay." Wilson gently reached out to him. House flinched when Wilson touched his shoulders. Slowly, the Oncologist drew him into his arms.

"It's alright." Wilson murmured as House wept. "It's okay. I'm not going to hurt you."

Slowly, the sobs tapered off. Shame rolled over House. Of _course _Wilson wasn't going to hurt him. He'd had an extremely embarrassing reaction to getting lectured, something Wilson subjected him to all the time.

"I'm sorry." He lifted his head, but didn't look Wilson in the eyes. "You shouldn't have seen that."

"Don't be sorry. I shouldn't have yelled." Wilson tilted House's head up, forcing him to look into his eyes. "I wouldn't-"

"I know." House snapped. "It was just stress. You try being relaxed when you've just lost over forty years."

"I better try and get you back to normal." Wilson picked up the forgotten cane. He tapped it against the floor timidly. "Um…I wish House and I were the same age."

House gave him an incredulous look. "What are you doing?"

"If I just tell this thing to make you grow up it might make you much older than you actually are." Wilson replied. "My age is specific, before the infarction-"

"And still stupid." House growled.

"Why?"

"Because it wasn't specific enough. Now _you're _shrinking."

-

To be continued...


	2. Chapter 2

Money's Paw Syndrome (Part 2/6)  
By GirlX2

-

It didn't seem to take Wilson nearly as long to shrink down as it had taken House. Then again, he'd been younger to start with.

"This is all your fault!" He growled, clutching his shirt around himself. The rest of his clothes had fallen away as he'd shrank. "If you'd just left that stupid cane alone-"

"I'd still be in pain."

"In pain and NORMAL!" Wilson yelled. "Now we could both be stuck like this!"

"Let me _try _and fix it before you have a tantrum." House grumbled and grabbed his cane off the floor.

"I am _not _having a tantrum!" The mini-Oncologist stamped his foot.

"Look at yourself. You're the picture of a petulant child." House replied.

He was right, but Wilson didn't want to admit it.

"Fix us." He tried to restrain his anger.

"Okay, lets see…" House thought for a moment. "I wish Wilson and I never said the last two commands."

He tapped the cane on the floor and waited.

"Nothing's happening." Wilson said flatly.

"Let me try again. Um…I wish the last two wishes would reverse themselves." House tried. This had no effect either. "Damn it! I wish I knew how this thing worked!"

A string of paper seemed to explode into being in midair. The regressed doctors watched in amazement as it twisted to the floor. House gingerly picked the strand up.

"Is…is that…"

"It's instructions." House said. He skimmed over the paper quickly. "Oh."

"What?"

"Just telling it to reverse the last command won't work. You've got to give it a whole new command."

"Well, that's not so bad." Wilson reasoned. "We could just-"

"No, _we _can't. It says it won't take off a spell for anyone under the influence of that spell. Someone else has to do it."

"You're joking." Wilson snatched the paper away. "The hell, it really does say that!"

House sighed. "We're going to have to get one of my Ducklings to fix us."

"Oh yeah, that'll work. 'I know I don't look like it but I'm House trapped in a three year old body, and you have to use my magic cane to wish Wilson and I back to normal.' That's totally believable." Wilson said dryly.

"You have a better plan, cancer-boy?"

"…Not really."

"Then lets get moving."

"_How_? We can't just walk around the hospital looking like this." Wilson replied.

"Okay, we'll be stealthy." House rolled his eyes. He moved over to the pile of discarded clothing and kicked it into an untidy heap in the corner. Wilson winced. He'd just ironed those pants.

"C'mon." House tugged Wilson's arm, urging him back toward the stairs.

"Hold on." Wilson removed his necktie and re-tied it around his waist, creating a tunic out of his oversized shirt. "That's better."

"Jeeze, even as a toddler you're prissy." House groaned and started down the steps, cane in hand.

"I am _not _prissy!" Wilson hurried after him, clutching the rail.

"Are to."

"Am not!"

"Are too!"

"Am-" Wilson took a deep breath. He was _not _going to act like a three year old, no matter how much he looked the part. "Forget it."

"I win." House crowed as they reached their floor. He opened the door a crack and peered though. "The coast is clear. Let's make a break for it."

"My office." Wilson dropped his voice to a whisper. "It's closer."

"Fine." House grabbed his hand. "On three. THREE!"

Wilson stumbled slightly as they burst though the door, but kept up with the mini-Diagnostician. House still had longer legs than he did, although not by much. The skirted past the nurse's station unnoticed, too small to be seen above the countertop. Wilson pushed the door to his office open and they quickly ducked inside.

"Did anyone see us?" He closed it, wishing he was tall enough to reach the lock.

"I don't think so." House replied. "Although Cuddy and my Ducklings are probably looking for me. Maybe I should hide."

"They're looking for forty-eight year old you, not three year old you." Wilson reminded him. "And how exactly are we supposed to convince them we're us?"

"Well, a few sarcastic barbs and well-worded threats should do it for me." House shrugged. "And you still look like you, just littler."

"I hope you're right. I don't want to stay like this any longer than I have to."

"Not enjoying your second childhood?" House tried to sneer but it didn't quite come across with a three-year old's face.

"What's to enjoy? So far I've been shrunk, lost most of my clothes in a stairwell, and had to sneak into my own office." Wilson pouted.

House wandered over to his couch and clambered on top of it. "You're just grumpy. Maybe you need a nap."

Wilson watched as the other doctor stood up and proceeded to jump on the couch. "House, don't!"

"C'mon Jimmy, it's fun!" House protested.

"You'll hurt yourself!"

"So what?" House bounced. "We're in a hospital."

"Fine. I'll just get you down myself." Wilson rolled his eyes and climbed onto the sofa.

House jumped to the next cushion. "Gotta catch me first."

"House!" Wilson jumped after him. House moved to the end of the couch.

"Gonna have to be faster than that."

Wilson growled and leapt at him. House nimbly bounded to the other end, leaving Wilson springing up and down on the cushion. He wobbled for a moment, getting his balance back. House continued to jump on the other end.

"Why is it so springy?" Wilson wondered aloud, testing the cushion. It dipped moderately under him.

"It's springy because you're so much smaller." House responded, jumping higher to demonstrate. "You're not crushing all the springs down."

"Oh. Right." Wilson 'tested' it some more.

In a very few moments both doctors were jumping with abandon on Wilson's couch. Wilson actually found himself giggling. House was grinning, and nodded at him in approval.

"See?"

"Fine. It's not all bad." Wilson grinned back.

After a few more minutes they collapsed into a giggly heap.

"Better than…a Stairmaster." House panted, trying to get his breath back.

"Yeah." Wilson agreed readily. "We still have to go talk to your team."

"In a minute." House closed his eyes. "I want to rest."

"Just don't fall asleep." Wilson cautioned. He leaned back and closed his eyes. Just to rest them, of course. He wasn't sleepy.

"I won't." House said absently.

It didn't take long for Wilson to drop off. He snuggled up to the formally-older doctor in his sleep. House murmured something that sounded pleasant enough and wrapped an arm around him, pulling him closer. The familiar comfort at his side was all House needed to succumb to sleep himself.

-

Wilson woke up slowly. House was wrapped around him, still mired in sleep. He shook his head, annoyed with himself. They'd lost at least an hour to the nap. Cuddy was probably pissed, and House's fellows would be no happier about his disappearance.

Not to mention they were still children.

"House." He shook the Diagnostician. "Wake up."

"Wha…?" House blinked sleepily at him.

"We fell asleep."

"Oh." House frowned. "I guess we still have to get someone to fix us, huh?"

"Yeah. We do."

House yawned widely and stretched. "It's nice to wake up and not need to pop a pill."

Wilson winced inwardly at this.

"We better page my team." House slid off the couch.

"I don't think they're going to believe us." Wilson said worriedly.

"If they don't I'll start spouting off old cases. That should do it." House shrugged and reached for the phone.

A knock at the door stopped him in mid reach.

"Dr. Wilson?" A vaguely familiar voice called as the door opened.

"Oh…crap." House paled. "That's bad."

-

To be continued...


	3. Chapter 3

Monkey's Paw Syndrome, Chapter Three

By GirlX2

Thanks for all the great reviews guys!

-

Nurse Johnston, an older woman who both doctors were vaguely familiar with, stepped into the office. She caught sight of them and took a double take.

"Hello." She looked confused, but didn't let it come through in her voice. "What are you boys doing in Dr. Wilson's office?"

Her tone was kind, but House found himself tensing up. "He's…our Uncle."

"Do you know where he is?" She leaned down.

"Um…" Wilson shot a desperate glance at House. "He was here a minute ago."

Nurse Johnston frowned at this. "Uh-huh. Maybe you boys should come with me."

"Uncle Jimmy said stay here." House grabbed Wilson's hand tightly.

"We're not supposed to go with strangers." Wilson added in his best 'obedient little boy' voice.

Johnston didn't look swayed. "Dr. Wilson hasn't been on the floor for almost two hours, and we haven't checked in any visitors. I think you boys better come with me to the daycare until we find him."

"But-"

"I'll leave a note for him, saying where you are." She hustled them out of the office.

House glanced into his own office as they were pulled past. Chase was doing the crossword puzzle, while Foreman and Cameron discussed something (probably his absence).

"If you three want to keep your job's you'd better find Dr. House!" He yelled, grabbing their attention. "And don't bother with the clinic or Coma-guy's room."

"Shh, use your indoor voice." Johnston pulled them past the confused-looking doctors.

"Please, we're not supposed to leave." Wilson pleaded as she led them into the elevator.

"I'm sorry, but little boys can't be in a hospital by themselves." Her tone was kind, but firm. "We'll find Dr. Wilson or your Mommy and Daddy soon."

The mention of parents froze House. Wilson squeezed his hand reassuringly.

"It's alright." He whispered as the elevator descended. "Your Dad won't-"

"Uncle Jimmy's gonna be _mad_." House glared up at Johnston. "And Dr. House will be too."

"You met Dr. House?" Johnston asked.

"Uh-huh, he was with Uncle Jimmy. And they both said stay put." House glowered up at her. Had he been normal it would have been devastating. As he was, it didn't have much of an effect.

"I'm sure he did." She couldn't have sounded more condescending. "Do you know where your Mommy and Daddy are?"

"No. Uncle Jimmy is taking care of us." House growled as best he could.

"Of course." Johnston grumbled to herself as they reached the pediatric floor. "They didn't even dress you properly, why should they tell you where they are."

Wilson shot an unmistakable 'I told you so' look at House as they were led into the daycare room.

Non-descript cartoon characters cavorted on the walls. Plush likenesses of the same were strewn about the floor, among other toys. Several other children about their apparent age were playing quietly amid the toys, or watching PBS on a old TV set in the corner. Three daycare workers sat together at the only adult-sized table.

Johnston marched them over to the trio. "Got room for a few more?"

"Sure Linda. Who's are they?" 'Miss Becky', a brunette woman identified by a large colorful nametag, replied.

"Dr. Wilson's."

"_What_?" The three women chimed together.

"I knew he was married a couple of times, but kids?" 'Mrs. Alice', the blond, pressed. "Wow."

Wilson felt an embarrassed blush creep to his cheeks.

"Don't get too excited. These boys are his nephews." Johnston released their hands.

"Why don't you boys go play?" 'Miss Mary', the other brunette, suggested in an 'I'm talking to little people' voice. "We have lots of fun toys."

"Thanks a heap Lady." House grumbled and pulled Wilson away from the women.

"We're stuck in the daycare center." Wilson moaned once they were out of earshot. "I can't _believe _this!"

"C'mon, it can't be that hard to escape. We just have to wait until the hens over there start clucking again." House indicated the trio.

"The fact that we have to escape at all is what's bothering me!"

"And we back to you freaking out."

"House, do you know what Cuddy is going to do when she realizes you and I have apparently vanished?" Wilson put his hands on his hips (The action was vastly more amusing on a toddler). "She's going to call the cops."

"Okay, I still don't see how _we _would be in trouble." House batted his eyelashes. "We're just a couple of innocent widdle kids."

"Little kids who claim to have seen missing doctors right before they went missing!" Wilson exclaimed. "They're going to question us, and when they figure out we don't have any parents they're going to throw us in a foster home!"

"We have parents, they're just…not around." House reasoned.

"That excuse isn't going to work for three year olds! Unless we can convince somebody to do a DNA test or something there's no way to prove that we're really us."

"If I can talk with my team for a minute I know I can get them to believe." House argued.

"We might not get that chance." Wilson said miserably. "Not to mention that your cane is back in my office. If Cuddy calls the Police they'll take it with them as evidence, and we'll never get it back."

House thought this over for a minute. "We'll just have to get back upstairs before she gets too worried."

"Great plan." Wilson threw his hands up. "And _how _exactly do we get out of this room?"

"Um…" House studied the door Nurse Johnston had brought them through. The knob was very high up, out of the reach of little hands. "We'll make a break for it when one of the workers leaves."

"Because no kid has ever tried that before." Wilson snorted.

"If you have a better idea, share it with the class." House swept his arm out.

"I…I just want to be grown-up again!"

House watched in bewilderment as Wilson began sobbing. The Oncologist had gone from slightly pissed to out-and-out despair in less than ten seconds.

"Er…" He suddenly felt very awkward. Wilson didn't cry much, and he wasn't prone to mood swings either. "We'll be okay."

Wilson continued to sob. "You…don't…know that."

House wrapped him in a hug. "No, I don't. But I'm not going to stop trying just yet."

"Oh, no." Miss Mary hurried over to them. "Did you hurt yourself Honey?"

"N-no." Wilson sniffled.

"He's thinks Uncle Jimmy's gonna be mad at us for leaving." House said innocently, and widened his eyes a little for effect. "We promised we'd stay in his room."

"Don't you worry about that." She pulled a Kleenex from one of the numerous pockets on her frock. "Here."

'House is never going to let me live this down.' Wilson thought miserably, but took the Kleenex. "Thank you."

"You're welcome." Miss Mary smiled. "Now why don't you boys pick out a nice game to play? There are some picture books too."

"Sure. Lets go Wil-…um, Jimmy." House faltered for a moment. Calling Wilson by his last name would definitely seem weird, as they were supposed to be brothers.

"Okay." Wilson allowed himself to be led away from the woman.

"You alright?"

"Yeah." Wilson looked more embarrassed now than anything else. "I don't know what came over me."

"I do. I don't think this change is just physical." House replied. "I think it's getting into our heads."

"You think our mental capacities are changing too?" Wilson frowned pensively. "That would explain a lot, actually."

"Yeah, it's fascinating." House grumbled. "It also sucks. If we end up with the minds of children we'll never be able to convince anyone we're who we say."

"If our minds go we may not be able to remember who we are well enough to even try." Wilson countered. "Memory is a shaky thing at best, and if we lose our adult minds they could be the next thing to go."

"Three year old body with three year old capacities and three year old memories." House shook his head. "It's going to get very hairy when little Gweg and Jimmy claim to have the same names as a couple of missing Doctors."

"Your team might-"

"If you honestly think anyone is going to figure this out by themselves I'm going to slap you."

"Well, no, but…" Wilson trailed off. House was right; If they were incapacitated to that point there was no way they'd get back to normal.

"We have to get back upstairs. Soon."

-

To be continued...


	4. Chapter 4

Money's Paw Syndrome, Chapter Four

By GirlX2

-

"Maybe if we could get that chair to the door we could reach the knob."

"Yeah, nobody is gonna notice _that_."

Wilson glared at House. "Well I don't see any of the daycare workers leaving. Unless you want to keep waiting we have to do something."

"I've got a plan. Play along." House instructed. He approached the blond worker. "Mrs. Alice?"

"Yes?" Mrs. Alice paused from re-shelving a stack of picture books. "What is it sweetie?"

"Was there chocolate in the cookies that we had for snack?"

"Yes. Oreos are made of chocolate." Mrs. Alice frowned slightly. "Why?"

"Well, Mommy say's I'm 'lergic to chocolate." House wheezed a little for effect. "It makes me breathe funny."

Mrs. Alice paled. "I'll call one of the doctors in."

House coughed. "I don't feel good."

"I better just take you downstairs." She dropped the books and grabbed his hand.

"Jimmy too. We're not supposed to leave each other alone." House tried to sound as pathetic as possible.

"Sure, sure. Mary, Rebecca, I'm taking the Wilson boys downstairs for a minute." She called to the other workers.

Wilson hovered uncertainly near House, taking his free hand. "Are you sure this is a good idea?"

"Nope." House shrugged.

"C'mon boys, lets go." Mrs. Alice hurried them to the door.

Wilson watched House carefully as she led them down the hall. He had no idea when House planned to run, but wanted to be ready. They all stepped into an unoccupied elevator.

"When are we going to-"

Wilson's whispered query was cut off by a shove. House pushed him back into the hallway as the doors closed. Wilson spun around, catching a smirk on House's face before the doors closed.

"You jerk." Wilson growled under his breath as he raced towards the stairs. Separation was a better way to get back upstairs unnoticed, but it left House in the care of the nursery workers. Mrs. Alice would call upstairs while she took House to see a doctor, sending someone after him.

It did buy him a little time, though.

Wilson raced up the stairwell, trying to ignore the adults he passed. A child clothed in nothing but a dress shirt and a belt/tie was going to draw enough attention as it was.

'How am I going to convince House's team that I'm me?' He sucked in a sharp breath as he hurried up the flight of stairs. They were steeper than he was used to, and it was already wearing him down.

Wilson shook his head. He'd just have to deal with it when he got there.

-

"…Yes Mary, I know I should have gone back up, but the other Wilson boy is allergic…Yes, just find him, okay?" Mrs. Alice clicked her cell phone shut. "Why did you shove your little brother like that?"

"My arm had a spasm." House said sarcastically. Mrs. Alice shook her head and pulled him into one of the clinic rooms.

"This is too slow." House whined after a minute. "I could _die_."

"Dr. House is supposed to be here, but he's decided to hide." Mrs. Alice said evenly. "They're looking for someone to fill in. Do you still feel sick?"

"No, I'm really here because I love needles." House snapped.

Mrs. Alice gave him a very strange look. "How old are you?"

"Um…" Crap, she was getting suspicious.

He was saved by the proverbial bell when the door opened.

"Good afternoon." Cuddy stepped inside.

House tried not to break into a grin. This was just too prefect.

"I'm Dr. Cuddy. What seems to be the problem…Alice?" Cuddy looked startled at seeing the daycare worker.

"He says he's allergic to chocolate." Mrs. Alice no longer looked convinced. "Started wheezing and coughing after he had a cookie."

"My Mommy said if that happened I'm supposta tell a grownup." House said.

"Do you feel sick now, um…" Cuddy shot a desperate look at Mrs. Alice.

"Gweg." House was playing up the cuteness for all it was worth. It seemed to work--a smile touched the corners of Cuddy's mouth.

"Do you still feel sick Greg?" She bent down to address him, giving House a great view of her cleavage. Sure, his body wasn't getting aroused, but mentally it was a major score. House filed the view away for later scrutiny, when he was mature enough to fully appreciate it.

"I feel a little better." He smiled.

"Well, I'm still going to have to give you a little shot in the arm."

"Oh." His smile faltered at this. Unnecessary drugs and needles were not an improvement on the situation. "Um, I feel much better, really."

"It's a very small shot." Cuddy assured him, and retrieved a needle from the metal box on the wall. "A big boy like you, it won't hurt very much at all."

House tensed up. The comment was a bit too close to what his father had told him--yelled at him actually--when he'd been punished. Take it like a man, you're too big to cry about a litte whipping.

The shift in mood was not lost on Cuddy. She set the needle down and crossed back over to him. "Are you alright Greg? Can you breath?"

House nodded, trying to contain himself. He wasn't going to cry, not in front of Cuddy.

"Alice, would you mind if I had a minute alone with him?" Cuddy asked.

Alice nodded. "I'll wait outside." She stepped out of the room, closing the door softly.

"I really feel better." House said. "I don't need the shot."

"If you're allergic you have to have it." Cuddy said kindly. 'Its for your own good."

Another classic line used by his father. Tears began to form. "I'm not allergic, I just wanted to leave the daycare."

"Greg, if you're lying because you're scared-"

"If I was lying I would have gone into anaphylactic shock twenty minutes ago when I ate the damn cookie!" House shrieked. "I can understand the daycare worker not getting that, but you're Doctor for God's sake! Or you were before you became the boss."

Cuddy had stopped cold at this. She knew that demeanor, and the person who possessed it had no children. "Who's child are you?"

"I…" House swallowed hard. He was going to have to tell her if he wanted to get out of this without social services coming to take him away. "I'm House."

"You're related to Dr. House?" Cuddy asked weakly.

"I am House." He didn't insist. It was just a statement of fact. "I was me this morning when I clocked in at ten thirty, I was me when you called me into your office yesterday to get my paperwork done, and I was me when Stacy had my leg mangled five years ago."

Cuddy looked blank. "Dr. House told you to say those things. Is he trying to play a trick on me?"

"Do I have to start talking about Tritter screwing me over? Or when Wilson and I hooked up in Coma-Guy's room and you walked in on us? Or-"

Cuddy's gasp cut him off. "You…can't be."

House gave her the best cold expression he could manage. "Do I have to make a sexist joke and grab your breasts? Because I'm not feeling it without the testosterone."

Cuddy's hand flew to her mouth. Her eyes had become huge. "No."

He let out an explosive sigh of relief. "Good. I'm saving that for my birthday."

-

Wilson was nearly spent when he finally arrived at the correct floor. Luckilly, no one had managed to stop him. Now he just had to convince House's Fellows of the impossible.

He walked quickly towards the office, stomach beginning to roil in fear. 'If I fail…'

Best not to think about it.

Foreman and Chase were sitting inside the office, conversing over something of no great importance. They didn't have a case at the moment. Cameron was nowhere to be seen. He hurried inside, not pausing to knock. Both Doctors looked up as the door opened.

"Um…I think you have the wrong room." Chase stood up.

"Please, you have to listen to me. House and I are in trouble-"

"You know where Dr. House is?" Foreman cut in sharply.

"He's about to get an unnecessary shot to ward off an anaphylactic reaction he's not having." Wilson explained quickly.

Chase shot a skeptical look at Forman. "Why didn't he just page us?"

"We both lost our phones earlier." Wilson tried to get to the explanation. "Please, just listen. I know this is going to sound insane, but-"

"When it comes to Dr. House, we're used to insane." Foreman muttered.

"I'm Dr. Wilson." Wilson blurted. "And House and I are both…like this."

"Uh-huh." Chase began. "Well-"

"I can prove it." He added desperately. "All of our bank accounts were frozen when Detective Tritter was hounding House. House and I were both almost fired when Volger took over the hospital, but Cuddy lost the one hundred million dollars to save our jobs. I lived with House when my third wife and I got divorced, and I live with him now. We started dating last-"

"Whoa, whoa, slow down." Chase held up one hand. He looked amazed.

"Please." Wilson breathed heavily. "Please, I know how crazy this sounds, but you have to believe me. If House and I stay this way much longer-"

"Start at the beginning." Foreman said softly.

"Do you believe me?"

"I want to hear the whole story." Foreman replied, not answering his question.

Wilson nodded unhappily. It would take time to explain what had happened, something they were running out of quickly. "Okay."

-

"That whole story is impossible." Cuddy said as House finished his tale.

"Don't you think I know that?" House grumbled. "Wilson was there and he couldn't believe it."

"Damn. Wilson's by himself somewhere in the hospital."

"I think he might be with my staff, but we'd better go check." He hopped off the exam table.

Cuddy grabbed his hand. "Don't even think about running off. One lost child-doctor is more than enough."

"You never let me have any fun." House whined as they left.

"Alice, I'm going to take Greg up to my office while we try locate Dr. Wilson." Cuddy told Mrs. Alice. 'It isn't even a lie.' She mused to herself.

"Um, alright. But, there's actually another-"

"I already know about Jimmy." The name feels unfamiliar in her mouth. "We'll find him, don't worry."

Mrs. Alice broke into a relieved grin. "Alrighty then."

"She's not a very good daycare worker." House informed Cuddy as they walked away. "She should have kept a better eye on Wilson."

"I'll remember that the next time two of my department heads suddenly become children." Cuddy rolled her eyes and lead him to the elevator. Even though they were alone he didn't let go of her hand.

"He'll be okay." House didn't phrase this as a question, but Cuddy felt compelled to answer all the same.

"I'm sure Wilson is fine."

"If his mind is failing…" There was a startling amount of worry in House's voice.

"It's fine, House. We'll be in your office soon, we can get your cane and figure out how to reverse this."

"It might be too late!" This time House couldn't stop the tears. Wilson was lost. He could be scared or hurt. And he doesn't have House to help keep his mind together or protect him. This is somehow the worst of all. Cuddy wrapped the sobbing Diagnostician in a hug. House thought about pushing her away, but after a moment of indecision he wrapped his arms around her neck, reciprocating the hug.

"It's alright. We're going to find him." She assured him softly.

House neither replied nor stopped crying, but pulled away slightly. He knew he should feel embarrassed, maybe try and offset the situation with a quip, but he couldn't think of anything.

Cuddy rested a hand on his shoulder. "It's going to be okay House."

He still said nothing. Cuddy gently wiped away the tear streaks on his face.

The doors finally parted as they reached the floor. Cuddy stood up, but kept her hand on House's shoulder. He didn't try and take off for his office, just kept a slow pace beside her.

He can't tell her that he's afraid of what's there.  
-

To Be Continued...


	5. Chapter 5

Money's Paw Syndrome, Chapter Five

By GirlX2

**-**

When Wilson finally finished the story Chase and Foreman were both watching him intensely. Wilson tried to swallow the lump in his throat. The men didn't look convinced.

"Dr. Chase and I are going to have a little talk." Foreman finally said. "We'll be right back."

Wilson nodded. "I'll stay here."

"Good." Chase replied. He and Foreman made a quick exit to the balcony.

Wilson bit back a sob. They didn't believe him. They were discussing how to get him committed to the psych ward without parental approval. They were calling Social Services to come take him away. Some betrayal clothed in adult assurances of help was coming.

Could he run away again? Wilson eyed the door desperately. Too many people in the hallway now, he would be caught for sure. He was trapped.

He slowly rounded House's desk. House didn't have a couch in his office, but the desk chair was fairly comfortable. He was small enough to wholly curl up in it.

As Wilson clambered into the chair he took a glance at the phone. Would calling Cuddy make any difference? No, she'd never believe.

No one would ever believe.

Wilson cried quietly. Not the great panicked cries he'd had in front of House, but small, whispery sobs. He curled in on himself, head down, arms around his knees. The traditional childhood pose of helplessness and fear. It seemed appropriate.

He heard a door open, but didn't look up. Foreman and Chase were going to have him taken away, what did it matter if they saw him cry?

"Hey." A soft female voice intoned. "Hello."

One of the daycare workers, then. It was only a matter of time before they found him.

"I'm sorry I ran away." A hiccupy sob shook him.

"It's alright." A hand was laid softly on his back. "Are you lost?"

He looked up slowly at this, puzzled. Cameron was looking down on him.

"Cameron?"

"Yes?" She looked like she was trying to work out where she knew him from.

Should he bother to explain? Would it do any good?

"Are you looking for someone?" She asked quietly, getting down on one knee to address him.

Wilson nodded slowly. "You, actually."

-

For an instant House didn't see anyone in his office as he and Cuddy walked in. He froze mid-step. Wilson wasn't there, he'd never made it, something had come and taken him away-

Then he spotted a familiar figure curled up in his chair.

Wilson was sitting on Cameron's lap, speaking softly. His gaze snapped to the door. There was a flurry of movement, and the next thing House knew he and Wilson were wrapped in a tight embrace.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, they didn't believe me-"

"It's okay, Cuddy believes me." House clutched his partner tightly. "Are you okay?"

Cameron and Cuddy watched in stunned amazement as the doctors-turned-children took turns reassuring one another. The older woman slowly made her way over to the desk.

"Wilson didn't tell me everything." Cameron said quietly. "What's happening to them?"

"House thinks the spell or whatever it was is causing them to regress mentally as well as physically." Cuddy said. "I think he's right."

Foreman and Chase stepped back inside as she spoke.

"Is that House?" Chase asked, eyes going wide.

Cuddy nodded. "I brought him up from the clinic. He faked an allergic reaction."

"House sneaking into the clinic. That's a new one." Foreman replied dryly.

"You believe me?" Wilson piped up, looking hopeful.

"Yeah, and it looks like we're not the only ones." Foreman said.

Wilson nearly collapsed into House's arms from sheer shock. They believed. All of them.

"Easy, easy." Chase swooped down to steady him.

"C'mon Jimmy, we're past the hard part. Don't flip out now." House said.

"The hard part is _almost _over. We still have to get you two back to normal." Cuddy reminded him.

"Oh. Right."

"I'll get the cane." Chase exited.

Foreman watched the two doctors intensely. "We're going to have to be very careful when we try to change you guys back. We've got to think of a way to word this so it can't be misinterpreted."

"How about 'I wish House and Wilson were their right ages'?" House said sarcastically.

"It's definition of 'right age' might not be the same as yours." Foreman replied. "What if your 'right age' is even younger than you are now?"

"Good point."

"Maybe you should write it down." Wilson suggested. "You know, to work it out better."

"Good idea." Cameron wrote 'I wish...' on the whiteboard.

Chase came back, holding the cane gingerly by the shaft. "Got it."

"Here, you'll need this too." House handed the sheet of instructions to Cuddy.

She studied it for a moment. "Where did you get this?"

"Wished for it." He shrugged.

"Of course."

The adults sat around the table and began discussing how to properly word the wish. House tried to add in to the discussion, but lost interest quickly. Grammar was only fun when he was using semantics to get what he wanted.

He picked up his giant tennis ball and tossed it to Wilson. "Catch!"

"Don't throw things at me!" Wilson protested, but caught it.

"It wasn't at you, it was to you."

"At me." Wilson grumbled, throwing it back.

"To you."

"At!"

"To!"

"Boys, if you don't mind, we're trying to fix you." Cuddy said dryly.

"At!"

"To!"

"We could put them back in the daycare." Foreman suggested darkly.

"How about I take them outside so they can run around?" Cameron said.

"Can we?" House perked up. There was a small playground on the hospital grounds. That could be fun.

"I guess so. Just be careful." Cuddy cautioned.

House tried not to show how happy he was and failed miserably. Grinning, he grabbed Wilson's hand. "C'mon Jimmy."

-

Cameron luckily had the foresight to grab some clothes for the doctors-turned-children out of the pediatric lost and found. It was warm outside, but House doubted it was warm enough to get away with not wearing any pants, child or not.

Cameron was watching them from a nearby bench. "When Cuddy pages me we have to go back in. No whining."

"Sure thing." House wasn't paying much attention to his Duckling. The empty jungle gym was calling. He hurried over to the structure, with Wilson following slowly behind.

"Be careful." He cautioned.

"Were you born middle aged or what?" House smirked, swinging himself up and onto the platform.

"Fine, break your arm, see if I care." Wilson climbed after him.

"Maybe I will." House stuck his tongue out.

"I'm going to be on the swings. When you grow up feel free to join me." Wilson hopped off the platform.

"I'm grown up!" House chased after him.

"Are not." Wilson ducked around the structure, the swings already forgotten.

"Am too."

Cameron watched the boys chase each other, smiling to herself. It seemed like the two had been fighting a lot lately, (House had certainly been more difficult than usual) but perhaps this whole experience would help them to get along a little better. They'd certainly seemed happy when they were reunited in House's office.

'Don't start celebrating just yet. Their moods are mostly due to their minds becoming simpler.' Her inner critic warned. 'House is going to be the same jerk he's always been when they turn back into adults.'

'Yes, but if he and Wilson are getting along things are easier for everyone.' She countered.

'True.'

She laughed quietly as House tagged Wilson and then ran off. Jerk or not, for now he was downright adorable.

"Can't catch me!"

"Your legs are longer than mine!" Wilson protested.

"Excuses excuses." House pulled up short, causing Wilson to collide with him and send them both onto the shredded foam ground.

"Oof!"

"Get off me!" House squirmed under his weight.

"Why…did you do that?" Wilson panted, pulling himself off House.

"I wanted to test your reflexes." House shrugged. "Slow, as I expected."

"They are not." Wilson pouted.

"Prove it." House challenged him.

"Fine, I will." Wilson brushed himself off and headed toward the monkey bars.

House hurried after him to the cube-ish metal structure. "Maybe you should start off on something easier. The slide for instance. Very hard to hurt yourself on that thing."

"I can do it." Wilson insisted, hauling himself upwards. He was a little too small to simply step from bar to bar.

Bare feet and slick metal suddenly seemed like a very bad combination to House. "Okay, you proved your point. Come down."

Wilson blinked down at him from the top of the structure. It seemed much taller than it had from the ground. He gripped the metal rung nervously.

"Come down before you hurt yourself!" House said shrilly. Wilson had gone very pale.

"Uh, yeah. I just have to…um…" He tentatively lowered himself, trying to plant his feet on the next bar.

Cameron stood up and started towards the structure. Wilson seemed to be having some trouble getting off the monkey bars.

"Cameron is coming over. Just let her help you get down." House glanced at his underling.

"No, I can do it." Wilson said firmly and let go of the bar.

The slip was almost instantaneous. Everything seemed to slow down as Wilson fell. His head cracked against the bar he'd been trying to step on, creating an almost comical BONG sound. House felt his heart stop for a split second as he hit the ground, his body twisted awkwardly below him.

"Wilson!" He would have been at his side in a flash if Cameron hadn't stopped him.

"House, no, you can't touch him. He might have hurt his neck or his spine." Cameron held him at arm's length, trying to reach Wilson with her free hand.

"But-"

"Here, call upstairs, and get Cuddy to send out a gurney." Cameron gave him her cell phone and pushed him away. She slipped under the bars and began to check Wilson over. He moaned incoherently and began to thrash under her touch.

"Shh, its okay Wilson, just stay still." She instructed, wondering if he was coherent enough to understand.

Wilson didn't give a verbal answer, but he stopped squirming.

"Damnit!" House cursed himself. He was unable to punch in the number. His fingers had lost much of their nimble nature, and were now as pudgy and clumsy as any normal child. He managed to dial the number correctly after his second try.

"Cuddy, Wilson fell and hurt himself. We need a gurney and a back brace." House tried to sound calm.

"I'm sending Chase and Foreman out with the paramedics right now. Don't do anything House." Cuddy said firmly.

"The hell I won't do anything!" House said indignantly. "I'm still a doctor!"

"Fine then. Is he bleeding? Is he conscious?" Cuddy pressed him sharply. "Did he break anything in the fall?"

"I-I don't know." He couldn't even see Wilson. Cameron was still crouched over him.

"Then don't try to help. You could make things worse." She said.

"…Alright." House said in a small voice. He didn't want to make things worse.

"Okay, good. Just hang on. Help is on the way." Cuddy said in a soothing tone.

He clicked the phone shut. Cameron was checking Wilson's eyes now, trying to discern…something. If he thought about it he might be able to remember what she was doing that for, but that would lead to him trying to help. If he helped, things would just get worse.

He backed away from the two of them slowly. If he was nowhere near Wilson he couldn't hurt him.

Right?

-

To be continued...


	6. Chapter 6

Monkey's Paw Syndrom, Chapter Six

By GirlX2

-

Ten minutes can seem like hours to a worried adult. For a child, it's a lifetime. Or, in House's case, a lifetime lost.

House watched quietly as…well, he was no longer sure of her name, but she was helping Wilson. That was the important thing.

When more adults came outside to take Wilson in, they seemed to forget he was there. That was fine with House. Wilson was the one who needed help, not him. He was perfectly capable of looking out for himself.

The blond man who talked funny eventually came over to where he was sitting.

"Are you okay?"

House nodded and tried not to look him in the eyes.

"Wilson is going to be alright." The man said quietly. "It looks like he just bumped his head. They're going to give him a look-over to be sure though."

"Okay."

"We should wait inside." The man took his hand and helped him to his feet.

House allowed himself to be taken inside the hospital, even though he knew he wasn't supposed to go with strangers. This man was a doctor though, and his parents had said it was okay to trust doctors and policemen if he was in trouble.

'You know from experience either of those can turn on you.' A voice deep down whispered. House frowned. He knew that he should understand what that voice was talking about, but he simply couldn't remember.

He was led to a somehow familiar room, with a long glass table and some interesting looking toys on a shelf. The man didn't say anything when he picked up a ball, so it was probably okay for him to touch.

A loud beep startled him and he dropped the ball. He must have been wrong.

The man who talked funny grabbed a device off his belt and said a very bad word. "I have to leave for a moment House. You need to stay here while I'm gone, okay?"

"Yeah." House said quietly and retrieved the ball.

The man hurried out the door, carrying a cane with him.

'That's yours.' The voice piped up again. 'And it's important.'

"Umm…okay." House said aloud. He looked around the room. After taking a moments deliberation he climbed into the large chair at the end of the table.

Wilson had been gone for a long time.

'That's a bad sign.' The voice added darkly. 'If he was perfectly fine they'd have brought him back up here by now.'

House bit his lip. He didn't like the strange speaker.

'You don't have to like me, you just have to listen and know that I'm right.' The voice replied.

"But that man said-"

'I know what he said. Do you think he's above lying to keep you calm?' The voice interrupted sharply. 'You can't be blindsided if something is really wrong with Wilson.'

"Go away." House whispered.

'That's a little hard since I'm inside your head.'

"Then be quiet." He clutched the ball tightly. What if something was _really _wrong with Wilson?

What if he didn't come back at all?

He'd gotten the other boy onto the jungle gym, so it was his fault that he'd fallen. When the grownups found out that it was his fault, he would be punished. House was very worried about his friend, but the possibility of getting punished wasn't something he could ignore.

Even if he did deserve it.

'Don't you dare start crying again.'

"Wasn't." He murmured and wiped his eyes.

'If you absolutely _have _to cry stop it before someone comes in.' The voice said coolly.

House nodded. If he was caught crying about the punishment he'd just get double. Crying because he wanted Wilson to come back wouldn't help either. He hunched in on himself, trying to find some sort of comfort.

When the door opened he flinched and curled into a ball. This was it. They'd sent someone to deal with him.

"House?"

The speaker was a tall brown haired man. He was wearing a white coat like the other grown-ups, and carrying the cane. Another doctor? Would they have a doctor come to punish him? House studied his face for a moment, trying to gauge what he was feeling. The man's looked a little scared. His eyes-

His eyes.

"Wilson!" He jumped off the chair and into Wilson's arms. He was still crying, but not from fear.

Had House been a little bit older when the transformation had stopped, he probably would have been terrified by the sight of his best friend suddenly showing up as a grown-up. As he was, all he felt was joy. Wilson was okay. Bigger, but okay.

"Hey, it's alright." Wilson murmured, holding him close. "Everything's fine."

"You scared me." House said into his chest.

"I did?"

"You didn't come back." House looked up at him. "I'm sorry I got you hurt."

"What? House, that wasn't your fault." Wilson looked confused.

"Yes it was." House insisted softly. "It always is."

"No, House, it's not. You didn't do anything wrong." The confusion melted off Wilson's face. "Is that why you were scared? You were worried about me?"

"Uh-huh." House tilted his head slightly to one side. "You got really tall."

"Yes, I did." Wilson agreed. He carried House back to the chair and sat down. He pulled a small syringe out of his pocket.

"What's that?"

"It's medicine. It's going to make you go to sleep for a little while." Wilson said.

"Do I have to have a shot?"

Wilson nodded sadly. "Yeah."

"Okay." House said quietly. He leaned his head on Wilson's shoulder. "You won't go away again?"

"I'm not going anywhere. I promise." Wilson said as he swabbed House's arm. "It's going to pinch a little."

House winced as Wilson gave him the shot. "I'm not in trouble?"

"Nope. This isn't punishment, it's something…that you need." Wilson choked slightly.

"Okay." House murmured.

Wilson watched for a few minutes until he was sure House was out. He picked up the cane and slowly tapped it against the boy's chest.

"I wish House would grow to the age he was this morning before he made any whishes." He repeated the same wording House's fellows had come up with for him.

The change was quick, House gaining perhaps a year every thirty seconds. It would take thirty minutes for the sedative to wear off, more than enough time for House to finish growing up. Wilson carried him into his own office and sat on the couch. He stripped off House's clothes quickly, covering him with a blanket. He'd grow completely out of them otherwise.

'He didn't recognize me.' Wilson thought sadly. 'He had no idea who I was until he looked me in the eyes.'

This had hurt, but it wasn't totally unexpected. Their minds and memories had barely been together when they'd been physically together. Wilson's adult mind had completely gone once they'd been separated, as had House's, apparently.

Before the other doctors had wished him back to normal, he'd cried for his Mother. Wilson had wanted to see House too, but he'd regressed so far that he hadn't remembered that his Mother wasn't with him. He'd done what any normal child would have done.

The journey back to adulthood hadn't been easy either.

The unforeseen catch in this wish had been pain, pure and simple. Every scrape, every broken bone, every black eye ever earned in a schoolyard fistfight (not many of these, thankfully), had flashed across his features. No one pain was really terrible, but the nearly simultaneous experience of all of them had been terrifying. His mind had at least come together quickly, memories and adult awareness keeping him from total panic.

He couldn't subject House to the same pain; Re-experiencing the infarction would be unbearable. House twitched slightly in his sleep as he grew, but it wasn't anything close to the horror Wilson had experienced.

Wilson studied him as he progressed into adulthood. He'd been gangly pretty much his whole life it seemed, as well as gaunt. Handsome, but thin. His hair darkened quickly before graying. He was almost back to normal.

When the infarction hit House twisted and gasped in his sleep. Wilson ran a soothing hand down his leg, feeling the muscle twist into scar tissue under his fingertips. House settled down a few moments later. His face became lined with the chronic pain they'd both come to know.

It was over. He was back to normal.

Physically anyway.

House was lying in Wilson's arms, head still nestled on his shoulder. He almost looked peaceful. Wilson eased himself off the couch and retrieved House's clothes, and his pills, from the other room. He'd need them when he woke up. His system, while clean when he was a child, had probably become re-addicted as he aged. Wilson doubted the rules governing the cane's power had released House from that.

'There isn't a way to get it to cure his pain with it.' Wilson thought sadly. 'Not without inflicting something as bad or worse.'

House gasping derailed this train of thought. Wilson was at his side in an instant, pills in one hand, water bottle in the other.

"It's okay, House. I'm right here."

"Vicodin." House choked out. "Or morphine if you have it."

"You don't need morphine." Wilson pressed a pill into his hand. House dry swallowed it, and grimaced. Wilson handed him the water bottle.

"Your head okay?" House asked after he sipped the water.

"Yeah, it was just a bump. It healed over when they…wished me back to normal." Wilson stumbled over the word.

"You spent the day as an innocent child and you still can't accept a magic cane? My God and I thought _I _was jaded." House blinked up at him slowly.

"I've got your clothes." Wilson retrieved them from the table.

"Aww, no nudity-induced sex?" House pouted.

"Good to see your back to your old self." Wilson said dryly, dropping the clothes beside him.

"What, you were hoping that I'd learn a lesson about love and friendship from this?" House asked as he got dressed.

"No." Wilson smiled thinly. "I was worried it wouldn't work properly and I'd have lost you."

This stopped House for a moment. "I'm fine."

"Yeah, I know." Wilson joined him on the couch. House pulled him closer, arm around his waist.

"It worked fine. You arn't going to lose me." House whispered quietly, lips brushing his ear.

"Promise?" There was a note of wryness in the question.

"Yeah." House cupped his face and kissed him softly. "I promise."

"What are you going to do with the cane?" Wilson asked after the kiss broke.

"Hadn't thought about it." House shrugged.

"You're not going to keep using it."

"Of course I am! It's still a functional cane."

"A cane that can screw with reality." Wilson groaned. "It's dangerous!"

"I just have to avoid saying 'I wish'." House shot back. "Plus it adds a whole new level of fear for my ducklings. If they annoy me I can zap 'em. They'd be a lot easier to manage in mini-form, I bet."

"I'm not letting you use that thing on a day to day basis." Wilson crossed his arms.

"What if-"

"No."

"I could promise-"

"No."

"How about-"

"_No_."

"You're no fun." House pouted. "Okay, I'll get a new cane, but I'm gonna put flames on it so my Ducklings can't tell. How's that?"

"Fine, but I'm keeping it locked up." Wilson replied.

"You don't trust me?"

"Not when it comes to your ability to mess with the fabric of being, no."

"Fine." House ran a hand down his face. "I'll just have to find some other way to amuse myself."

"That's fine with me."

'And as soon as I can, get a copy of whatever key you use to lock the cane away, I'm swapping it for another.' House smirked inwardly as he kissed Wilson again. No _way _was he just giving up having a magic cane.

-

_Fin_


End file.
